Alan Carr asking John Barrowman about his plans to have children with his partner, Scott Gill
Barrowman is a perfect human being
i just laughed so hard, oh god i snorted and now my head hurts XD
JESUS
Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
Cows: The shit you go through.
This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
The Fire Nation: We have two cows. They attacked this post.
i hate how my parents are all “oh your paycheck will be so good since youre working 40 hours per week.” it just really pisses me off that all they can think about is money. everything is all about the paycheck. i really dont care about the paycheck and to be honest i dont know what kind of good a $600 paycheck is going to do me if i die of a heat stroke, over exhaustion, or dehydration at work. besides, i dont really spend all that much money on myself. sure i go out to eat sometimes and splurge on doctor who stuff but i dont really need to do all that. i just want to enjoy what little free time i have before going back to school.
‘stop being overdramatic’ they say
‘i dont know what you mean’ i say as i descend from the ceiling, surrounded by mist
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….thank you. that is all.
i am…. THE MCDONALDS CREW MEMBER! i am at my 3rd regeneration. my clothing article is a tardis jacket. my girlfriend is my companion. “its the tits!” is my catchphrase! i am the best time lord evrar!
My grandma borrowed the computer for 2 minutes while i inspected a box.
what the fUCK DID YOU DO WOMAN
but
HOW
It’s like Star Wars. O.o
I WOULD WALK FIVE HUNDRED MILES
AND I WOULD WALK FIVE HUNDRED MORE
JUST TO BE THE MAN WHO WALKED A THOUSAND MILES
TO GET WILL GRAHAM SOME PROPER FUCKING MEDICAL CARE
my brother just sat my mum down in the living room and started crying and she was getting really worried and he burst out with ‘I’M PREGNANT’ completely seriously, and my mum started yelling and was like ‘OH MY GOD, what the fuck, I raised you to be responsible’ and she was literally ranting for about 10 minutes until she realised and quietly walked out of the room
